Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
