Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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