one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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