Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
