I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
