ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
