singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
