Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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