Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
