they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
