He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
