operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
