tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
