No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
