when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
