he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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