I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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