Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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