He is an equal opportunity slut.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
