how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
