My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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