Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
