why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
