i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
