8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
