Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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