3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
