ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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