Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
