fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize