oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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