youre lurking in front of me
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
