he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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