If that was your dad, he is hot
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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