she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
