Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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