I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
FUCK WHALES
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize