The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
