I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
