it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
