Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
