The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
