I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize