I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
