I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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