My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
