lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
