coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
