dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
