people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
