She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
