He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
