Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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