so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
