Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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