think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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