took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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