how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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