just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
