Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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