just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He has the fingertips of a God
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