Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
