honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
