Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
